Vane - @vanessa_chav

"I moved around a lot as a kid, from different states and towns to completely new countries. I’ve always been an introvert so I had a difficult time adjusting to new surroundings. As I grew up I struggled with finding a sense of “home”.

My family has always been divided by thousands of miles and immigration barriers. I never fully embraced one place or one culture. I used to see that as a deficit.

All of that changed when I hit the open road. I realized that my upbringing gave me the freedom to experience true solitude and I found overwhelming beauty in it. I’ve been following that ever since.

That being said, I recognize that I have lacked in finding a community where I feel like I belong. I grew up in a majority white town and am now immersed in a majority white van life community. It’s difficult for me to take up space in these settings without performing whiteness. I do it automatically, like I have my whole life, because it is safer.

As van lifers we are privileged to travel and recreate in wild and open spaces. These spaces were never ours to begin with — they are stolen lands that were acquired through genocide. Yet, the white van life community continues to gatekeep these spaces and effectively keep BIPOC out of them. This can be done subconsciously, through micro-aggressions and lack of representation. Being the only BIPOC at a trailhead or camping area always puts me on edge. I’ve also experienced it personally through the questioning and policing of my actions in the outdoors. White people have periodically interrupted me to let me know that I am hiking, climbing, skiing, or even parking wrong. White people assume that I don’t know what I am doing. And of course, there’s the classic “no, where are you REALLY from?”. These actions are all meant to say one thing: you don’t belong in these spaces.

Representation is not enough. We need to create a community in which performing whiteness is not a necessary safety net. We need to uplift BIPOC in the outdoors so that their presence is no longer a novelty. Our community is not truly safe for anyone until it is safe for all."

Photo Credit - @Davidgbuth

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Published & produced by Jared Melrose Campbell @youandiandthesky & @vanlifediaries